The Avengers and Adventures in Terrible Headaches

Movie poster courtesy of Disney / Marvel

Avengers is one of those movies that makes you wish your cinema seat had a seat belt - it's a no-holds-barred thrillride cocktail of two parts great casting, one part witty script, a large splash of VFX, blended with copious amounts of visual gags, a squeeze of explosions, and garnished with the odd, completely unneccessary yet utterly delicious shots of rather astonishing-looking eyecandy; Cobie Smulders and that other chick they cast.

Superhero movies have been a mixed bag; so I'll keep this review very short indeed by saying: This is not a mixed bag. This is a sack, filled to the brim with finely selected awesome. Go see it.

It's well-paced, has more laugh-out-loud moments than I remember in any other recent film, the acting's good, the VFX is epic, and the music... Well, not always what I would have chosen, but it doesn't directly get in the way of the fun.

The horror of 3D

Of course, I'm currently in Buenos Aires, which means I have two choices for this film: Watch it in English with Spanish subtitles, in 3D. Or, watch it dubbed to Spanish, in 2D.

So, since my Castellano is still lacking at best, we opted for the 3D version.

Honestly? I don't get it. You spend all this money on making a stunning movie - a feast of explosions, colours, and superfluous shots of Scarlett Johansson's finely shaped bum squeezed in very tight trousers, and you ruin it by halving the brightness, slashing the colour saturation, and giving your audience headaches with poorly implemented 3D?

Don't get me wrong - I used to be in the industry of gadgetry and tech (I edited a website about it for a while), and I understand the appeal of 3D. Well-executed 3D is... A beautiful thing. It's 'realistic' (well, as realistic as staring at a 2D screen and see 3D things pop out at you). But the technology simply isn't there yet - or, if it is - it's not affordable enough that small screens in countries that gets violently abused by the government every time you try to import anything with a value of more than a packet of chewing gum.

So; what I'm trying to say is this: Avengers would be a straight-up 10 out of 10 if it managed to restrict itself to a mere traditionalist two dimensions. In three dimensions, it just falls a bit flat.